Romance is Odd

by reginadee2014

Romance is Odd

Regina Puckett

Jill settled into the booth’s hard bench and checked out the cashier. “So that’s the guy you think looks like a pirate?”

Both Jill and Heather looked over toward the medium height, college age man behind the fast food counter. His teeth were so white that if  the lights in the restaurant went out the place would have still had enough light to eat by.

Heather sighed loudly and rested her chin cupped between her palms.  “Isn’t he adorable?”

Jill narrowed her eyes and studied the guy again.  Maybe her contacts need cleaning because while she had to admit he was cute, no matter which way she turned her head, she just couldn’t picture the clean cut blonde as a pirate. “Exactly which pirate do you think this fire-cracker looks like?”

Heather fluttered both hands in the air as if swatting away flying bugs.  She finally choked out, “Remember that movie we saw last summer?” Her eyes rolled so far upward the only thing visible now were the whites of her eyes.

It was hard for Jill to admit, but her best friend wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. “You might want to narrow the selection down for me a tad.  We saw several movies last summer.”

Jill crossed her arms and waited.  In the meantime she listened to Heather tap out an entire song with the heels of her shoes.  It might have been annoying if it hadn’t been such a lively tune. 

Finally after several minutes of tapping and thinking, Heather slapped a well-manicured hand onto the table top.  “It was called Fire, Rum and the Gold Pistol or Gold Rum, Thunder and the Pistol on Fire.” She wiggled her fingers in the air like she was conducting an orchestral and nodded so hard her hair fell out of its ponytail holder.

To forestall any more of Heather’s unfruitful and lengthy thought processes, Jill nodded as if she knew the movie even though she didn’t have a clue what her friend was talking about.  “The movie with the sail boat stranded somewhere near Key West?”

A small groan slipped out when Heather furrow her brow.  They had been good friends since first grade so Jill was well aware of the fact that if her friend tried too hard to dig any information out of that tiny brain of hers, they could very well be there all night. 

Jill waved a hand in front of Heather’s face to get her attention.  “It really doesn’t matter. If you think the dude looks like a pirate, that’s good enough for me.  You should go up there and ask him his name. You’re not going to make any headway sitting over here behind this potted fern.”

A look of horror crossed Heather’s face. “My mom would never let me date a pirate.”

Jill blinked and stared opened mouth at her friend. It took a moment, but she finally shook away the cobwebs and stuttered, “But he’s not really a pirate.  He’s working the lunch hour shift at Rum and Catfish Ralph. Your mom would be thrilled if you dated someone with a job for once.  I don’t even think she would care that he smells like fish and hush puppies.”

Heather waved her arms and hands in the air, as if directing an orchestral.  “I can’t take him home.  My mom would have to install a new alarm system and she wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.”

Jill knew she was going to regret asking but she couldn’t stop herself.  “Why?”

It was then everything went to hell in a handbag.  Heather stood and screamed at the top of her lungs, “Because he’s a pirate!”

Every eye in the fast food joint turned in their direction.  Jill slipped underneath the table, but that just had her eyelevel with the mass of kids running around unsupervised. One little boy stooped to get a better view of the crazy lady, so she smiled and waved. Now being thoroughly mortified, she crawled out and hissed through clenched teeth, “Will you sit down? You’re making a spectacle out of yourself.”

She almost had Heather talked into sitting down again, but then her friend pushed her backwards and shouted. “Don’t you see?  He’s working the cash register.  He’s going to steal them blind.  I have to go get help!”

Jill watched Heather run out of the restaurant. Since the floor refused to swallow her up and put her out of her misery, Jill took refuge behind the nearest potted fern. She stayed there not knowing if she should wait around for the place shut down for the night or try and discreetly sneak out as soon as the coast was clear. She was so busy pretending to be invisible she didn’t see the clean-cut blonde slide into the seat in front of her.

“Yo ho, ho and a bottle of rum, Matey.” He was smiling so broadly his blue eyes all but disappeared into a series of deep laugh lines.

All Jill could think to say, “My friend thinks you’re a pirate and she’s gone to get the police.”

He grinned and winked devilishly.  “I get that a lot.” He stood and offered his arm.  “I’m off work for the night and there’s a new movie starting in twenty minutes. You want to go with me?  I’ll buy you popcorn.”

She stood and took the offered arm.  “The one with pirates, pistols and rum?”

He nodded.

“Let’s get out of here before the police show up.”